Unleashing The Beast.. WithIn

My Wall of Faces...2

2011-01-03T03:08:00.000-08:00

Continued....

If “Meg Ryan” was the mother of Cuteness…here came the Daughter “Elisha Cuthbert”…she had a smile of a baby ….d smile u wana see all across ur life..some may put her as hot…sexy ….but I would disagree….she was gorgeous blended with cuteness… I landed up on “The Girl Next Door” ….the scene when matt kisses her in the party . .with “David gray :This yeas love” track playing….pure feelings…

Now if we get back to my desi likings….it happened on DoorDarshan !! …I guess that was 15^th Aug of some year during my school days….I glanced on that face…There she was in a balcony and her face glowed like an angel …simple n beautiful…"Manisha koirala” …1942 love story …when anil kapoor goes to meet her at nite n she shows up in her balcony…though this crush was short lived ..But worth lived..!!!

..Well there been lots of anonymous ones..whom u guys wont be knowing abt…so I better keep the names to myself … :P

And there were face’s of those someone’s….the way she laughed …her head going up and down….her hairs falling here and there….that serious look of her.….that grin of hers….the devilish laugh n smile…when she triumphs on her prank….the look of hers when she was all nervous ....trying not to show that…!!

Lots of faces are right there….N would be till the end…

be it the messed up hair duo look of “Shania Twain” of “Any Man Of Mine”…

or be it our very own “Kareeb” girl.. the plain n simple Salwar beauty

be it “Kate Beckinsale” of Underworld or the petite look of “Pearl harbor"..

be it “Nauheed Cryus” from “Anwar maula mere”...

how many should I quote..!! Let’s see how many do add up…!! Till then ….they are beauty ....ageless faces that would travel across all time lines…with me…

Thanx to ya all to make me smile thinking abt ya !!

“She may be the face I can’t forget….

The trace of pleasure or regret…

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay

She may be the love that cannot hope to last…

May come to me from shadows of the past…

But I’ll remember till the day I die…

She may be the reason I survive….

The why and wherefore I’m alive…

She….

She….”

My Wall of Faces...

2011-01-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

Faces of Timeless Beauty……

In your life time one comes across lots of faces …billions of them…some strike out ….some u tend to remember for life….some come to ur dreams…some u think of and that brings a cute smile on ya face… well here I m….though its not my lifetime yet…but yeah some I can list down too...

Lemme give u insight of how I landed up with this….Thought of writing for a very long time….just couldn’t settle down with any specific thing to pen down…then I realized.. ..I have fallen for many faces in my life…u think of them n then u find peace… yeah I did too smiled…so here we kick off…

Was never a movie guy before…till 12^th I had hardly watched any movies…so it mite occur that this could had happened to u a lot before than it did to me… I had a chance to glance over a portrait ….it was a black n white one …N there she was…total awesomeness...u cud look at her….her cute innocent smile...just kept staring…and I know.. I had fallen....that face left such imprints on mah brain....all I cud think of…was to lay down n keep looking at her…

We move a bit ahead of that …after mah 12^th ….i made acquaintance with one more angel…one more face that would go with me ..back to my grave.. and this was deadliest blow I suffered…a lone self me…my pc..n a late nite movie…..n that movie was played 20 times d very next day…god know how many a times after that…I fear to write abt her…dunno wud I do justice to her or not…her smile as they put “Best of the ones 32 made” … the loud laugh of “Vivien” in “Pretty Women” when she lay eyes on the necklace…. The look of her in “When u say nothing at all” …those auburn hairs …man u feel like.. u close ur eyes n u r in heaven…d last “I'm just a girl” proposal …timeless smile and timeless laugh…that still echoes in my ears to this date…My First Love and would be My Last “Julia Roberts” …..

As we surpass that phase….came along the definition of “Cuteness” …be it all looks ….be it chopped hairs…be it long locks…..be it all messed up …Cuteness was the only thing which came screaming out of the frame…Her manly walk….d way she recites …d way she moves her head in both sides and do the nose thing …be it “Harry met Sally” …be it “kate & Leopold” be it “You got Mail” “Meg Ryan” was n would be “Cute” as Always …

Well seems to going long n tiresome...

To be Continued...

My First Time !! :P

2009-08-16T02:33:00.000-07:00

It was a New place ….never visited...often new things tend to make u not so confident abt it so was I….anyways I tired to find my way In…time was running n I was running slow on it…I hurried n there were those Doors…I approached it with slow steps…not knowing how its gonna be in thr...I entered N it was pitch dark...Was looking for somthng that I cud recognize but cudnt find any…Mein thoda aur aage bhada...There I got a Hand directing me towards the end…N I took steps towards where I was pointed..To be honest was a bit shaky...Cuz it was all dark n I cudnt figure out n yeah having that feelin that there are some eyes..may be many eyes ..staring at U …make it even more shaky…N if Ur someone who is bit public conscious..then u may get an idea how it wud have been...N to add up to all of that..It was something I was doing for the Very First time…n wat if U r among the last ones to enter it...That there are many who r already in there ..settled comfortably...watching u getting all uncomfortable...Well at times U think that they mite be watching U ….U knw that mite not be true or IS not true but still that thought does lies in U….N thats wat adds to the nervousness…anyways I carried on to the end ..tring to visualize things under shimmering light that was coming from far away…but cudnt manage...n in a desperate attempt to not be fool among them all..i just clutched on the most near by wat I got...now after settling in…the first thing was to look around ur surroundings…get familiar with it…being unsure that whom it belonged…N being sure that it didn’t belonged to U for sure !!.. still being nervous about it but to act Kool...Believe me the last thing u wud ask at that point was to attract all the Attention...

Yeah so I dig in …thanks for the darkness...me being unsure abt it wasn’t visible to all…

After a couple of minutes got myself cooled down..finally mah eyes met for wat I was there...But as the time was passing by ..which made me realize that the thing I wastnt sure about belonging to me...surly didn’t belonged to anyone else..and so I was nearing to my comfort zone…

but somethings gonna happen for sure…if not wats the Twist in it… A voice happen to cross my ears...made me realize it was much near to me...which happen to be of a female...I slowly turned to the voice…N there was a female next to me…Oh man...at that point I was on a Brain Rush...many a things crossed my mind n I was trying to catch up on one of them…well wat if she knew that wat I wasn’t being sure of being mine..was hers..No it wudnt be Or I wudnt be still sticking to it...Or she knew that yeah It wasn’t mine..of course she would have realized that..as she was just NEXT to Me..!!! N then the most worst of them …Wat if she thought I did sticked to it on purpose …As she being rite next to it…But Yeah I was kool ..I mean trying to be…then it was like..Wat do I care…Do I knw her…Does she …Naah..then why do I give a Damm on wat comes to her mind…Well I started to concentrate on wat I was suppose to...N yeah I was Njoing that !!

Then came the halt...the darkness faded..lights were up…I cud finally figure out where I was sticking to..N but of course the Next to Me being !!

I hate to be left Alone….N here I wasn’t left…I was Alone...that makes it worse...So I just took out my cell N moved out ...get some air ..escaping from the whole not so alone crowd…!! I made a call ..made few fake calls :P !! Just trying to buy some time..being Not Alone !! Generally when Ur with a company..the halts r short ..But this one seemed to be Looong...may be the time get divided or distributed among company..well as I had none so it was all on Me to bare !!

It ended…I was back sticking to the same....but one thing was for sure it really didn’t mattered as there was scarcity of people in thr…N it was fine to stick to wateva U find Free….afterall “Wat Do I Care” feeling was alive In Me ..!!

The rest of the period was peacefull …Me sipping my Large Pepsi ..tring to make it last more longer..if cud make it more Large..aah it emptied …chalo got a taste of company for while..be it with a fountain of pepsi....Well I hate to say it n admit it…for Me Company word matters a lot....I hate doing things Alone...infact I don’t do it…sometimes to n extent I wont prefer to eat alone even If M hungry !! Yeah Yeah I knw …that’s Stupid but ….Yeah that’s ME !!

Well It was fine …Deepika padukone was nice to catch on for a change…n Giselli was ooommmhh....too cute !! ...at times my feet started moving n shoulders shaking in the Seat ..which of course made Next to ME…shift a bit !! Just wished koi aur hota toh shake along with !!

But Yeah somethings are to be done for the very First Time in Life ..Love Aaj Kal was my very First Movie ALONE in the Theater...Didnt Njoined to full extent but yeah wud try to aage se ..if I make a plan to make a venture Alone …this experience wud surly help !! :P

PS: I loved the line..... Tu ekdum sahi baat bol deti hai jaanemann..!!
(Lets see if I can try that on to someone .. !! :P !!)

Why..??

2009-05-29T13:54:00.001-07:00

Well just some small bits i like put it down from now and then...!

Why do I feel like I am always all alone...
Why seems I am homeless,even when I am home..???

Why cant I try and yet not give a smile...
Why doesn't the world seem any worthwhile..???

Why do I always needed...people around ....
Happiness was never soo hard to be found ….

I don’t know what stops me from getting there...
Why it is the dullness… that I fear….???

Why do my days feel like a part of an incomplete trip...
Why does life now resemble a sinking ship...???!!!

At Nights I was left to succumb
Why did they always made me,so uncomfortably numb…

All I wanted was some …happiness to borrow….
Why am I always left as a….Man of constant sorrow...???

Why does it all happens to Me …
I just wonder Why He made me ..soo Lucky…???!!!

As in this was my very first successful attempt in putting down such a piece of writing..
Tried many a times..but all went in vain..!! I am totally aware that it does sounds too childish..but just take me as a Novice who's just tring to fit in !!

do line aur kahuga ..-

I just tried to pen down some of my thoughts here...
Please forgive me ...for all the pains U had to bear ..!! [:P]

Beast UnLeashed...

2009-05-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

CAUTION: This blog rite here is negative..sarcastic…present some extreme views..So the choice is urs to go through the pains …!!!

Well 4 Years are gone by..On a happy note bachelors gonna end…I m gonna be Engg…and on the other hand….Colg life ends.. “Colg Life” this word holds a special place in everyones life period…It’s compose of the most cherisable moments of ur life..they say the best things happened to you ..but I m not so sure abt that…pardon me if my words represent me as a negative person …or gives u the idea of me being pessimistic…I dun blame myself for that ..may b wat I went thru if u wud have..u mite have ended with the same story ..or Not !!

I don’t know but yeah I missed a LOT in my colg life..I cant say that this Is wat I wanted out of it …Nope I cant ..there wasn’t any such thing happening to me wat I expected out to happen ..May be that’s wat my problem is ..I “EXPECT” …but that isn’t a bad thng after all …Y shudnt I...when u do things U should expect ..!! If u don’t Expect then how come can u do things...well “Expect” is a very liquid phenomenon ...well it can be Expect from Urself…or Expect from Others !! … Well we will settle down on the latter purpose of Expectation

Two basic things that I came across …in every field I tried to enter..In every single things I tired to do ….Two things were common and unfortunalty they were always thr..

Firstly spending time here with People made me realize ..well reliazed a whole lot of things but for now will stick to one … “Woman” was a very dominant factor in Ones Life ...U actually see the wat drastic changes a Woman can get into stuff ..yeah I was quite surprised..how the term “Woman” can move things around them ..but who is to blame for giving them that power….We ..!! Rite thru the beginning all I tired ..all I saw …was that the whole world around here revolving around them..No matter wat u do ..U will always find them ...starting off with one …

We …by “We” I meant me n my roommates...were hoping to take part in a Radio Show...

Were suppose to take part...we discussed …thot on that...evened practiced a bit on it…but later on due to certain lack of intrest the plan was not so successful…a day before I was waiting for practice..n others were busy boozing themselves End of story.On the very day of radio show...wat do I get to see…my partners...who were busying boozing themselves a day ago …were sitting on the stage with a Woman and taking part in the Radio show...!!Getting into a vacant place which was offered to me too...but as I had a hypothetical grp of mine…I denied..now that Woman made it happen…made them bunk classes..made them practice on the leisure time..and made me a Fool out of it…

I dun blame that Woman ..Y shud I ….

Since then n now..every move guys made..were planned..organised keeping “Women” under consideration...many incidents came by but I prefer not pointing them out as I wasn’t directly involved but went thru it...and also taking agony n standing apart from the crowd that too at the end …wudnt be preferable..!! diplomatic terms after all !! But the surprising part was..here ppl njoied with them and then called the filthy whores behind their back...the ones they laugh and hang ard…they come back n boost themselfs in public by vulgar n cheap comments abt them..How can u spend 2-3Hrs with them n then making a statement to people that We made it happen..n boosting off in public..as of they were materialistic charm for u...u njoied ..u bitched and Ur great!!....What I saw back from where I was …yeah Woman is afterall opposite sex so who wont be interested in them…thats natural…but it wasn’t them always ...And more importantly “ Women” wasn’t All ..it wasn’t everything !! ..there was a whole lot more to them…

Here you have some lazy asses who wudnt move a bit ..but just utter the word …"SHE” is also coming !! then u see…their asses moves like they were running for fuckin Olympics !! ..somehow I find this hard to get down my throat ..

After going through all of these small small things ..I do say....infact must say ...

It’s a Woman’s World !!!..And we Man made it …..!!

PS: After going thru ..U mite have some sarcastic remarks for me..mite b thinking If m pretending to be a Saint or somthng…but Its true...I am not the above…I don’t say I m a saint but yeah ..I not like that...may be my views wudnt make u happy..but they are my views and this is My blog...N I am Unleashing the Beast Within….!!

My PrapoSAL....Cudn't propose though!

2006-09-01T01:17:00.000-07:00

Well me right now feeling cold in stomach .. actually don't know wat i m feeling like i did something 4 the 1st time in my life and got fOOked up .. man wat plans i made since last nite, i thought abt it and now here i m shitting over here..... thought of talking to a gal from a long time and made plans ..thought who the hell wil refuse my proposal after listening my speech cuz i believed to make a senti wala speech but alas.... didn't get time to start the speech though!!
there is a gal in my colllege well there r many but there is 1 .. hmm not 1 ,,many ,,i wana be frnds with.. some i talk to and some i never intreacted with .This was a similar case the latter one.............since last sem i thought of doing so but i kept it delaying cuz was afarid how wud it turn out to be and today my wildest fears came true, that also a moment ago.......
The reason i tried to impliment my plan today was that there were not many guys and gals in the college and she was not with the grp she used to ..
usual morning and i thought man i gotta study so i was planning of bunking the college! see i m using the word study that means a lot for me,,man i was damm seroius abt this word today and then all seriousness vanished as soon i saw her going to the college from my room window. than i decided today is the chance for me. i thought wat to say and made a perfect speech, perfect cuz i belive i carrry feeling and sentiments with wat i say .. so its kinda prefect and believed any nice gal wud agree to my pt anyways all this was going to fel apart today...............
i prepared my speech discussed with my frnds and let me make 1 thing clear the proposal was only for frndship nothing more or less than that ... see again i using my speech lines! prepared revised several times cuz i never had done so and never approached a gal whom i have never talked .. well as a matter of fact i have never approached any gal no matter if i know her or not!!
Bunked 2 periods and then went college in the 3rd period cuz i found out she had cp class so she wud be roaming out side for a while.. went and found out class engaged by some other teacher ok next time .. came in break and found her all over the college ,no sign of hers thought she might have left and as soon i was gonna leave saw her back and then me and my frnd who is also the same level of FATOOO as i m ,both marched towards her..
There she was standing outside of college with 2 more gals waiting 4 the bus .. we both reached there and dono ki FATTTI ,,we roamed abt over there 4 few mins and then with lots and lotss of strength, approached the gal fo the very 1st time in my life ..
Do quote my words,, went to her and said" exuce me ********* can i have a word with u plzz" she replied "yeah" a sec of slience and then i said "wud u plz cum over here 4 a while" And then the poison dipped arrow stucked right to my heart........SORRY was the reply and eveything fell apart...
I turned back and started moving .... Wat more cud i do.. can't tell her wat i wanted to in front of other 2 gals .. no i cud have never done that never.now m feeling a bit bad wat wud they all think abt me i went there with a nice thing and god knows how will they put this thing in front of other ppl..
All i can say is that this wasn't good .. i really think i cud ever thinks abt doing all this all again!.. well lots of nerve wud be needed for this purpose ...one try and u just got bashed away ..All the confidence wel i didn't had any ..but as we say success comes first and then confidence ...wat i got was not defeat,,defeat is something atleast u fought or stood but mine was like i didn't had any chance ..just 1 sec and wiped OUT.!!

My So called Protest..!!

2006-09-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

Well it just seem to be nowdays fashion or wat i can say that its a trend to write blogs so here i m writing my maiden blog.. or rather i can put it as trying to write one.the thing which hold me from writing a blog till now was wat the subject to write upon and feeling of fear .not fear something i can't explain.i read many a blogs of my frnds all were good some were just mindblowing really pleasent to read them ,i just wanna write one as pleasent as them as good as them but i knew i cudn't soo this was my sole reason y i kept myself away from writing a blog.well then i realised it doesn't matter its just expressing ur views abt a subject thats all .
well where i can find a more heated topic to write other than the RESERVATION 1!so here is mine very own on the reservations or wat i called is my f***** off future!
yesterday i took part in a protest to reservations .my taking part in protest was a mixture of feeling that wud make a normal person abnormal and grammer teacher to hold his head.
Well the story began day before yesterday nite but its foundations was laid back on the day when i read the HT front page in the morning ...It was just a usual morning me lying in my bed at 8,30 in the morning and then there was a noise on my door like some atomic explosions happening right in front of me in my dreams.. dam man there was my roompartner banging on the door .a thought came to my mind y the hell is he out side my room and how cum my room is locked 4m inside . then after few secs i regained that i have kicked him out of the room to sleep somewhere else cuz i wanted a lonely moment with myself and my pc!!! Anyways me going away 4m the topic.. k got up 4m the bed saying "Kya yaar aaj phir se college uff sala zindagii jhand hai yaha" thats my usual line even if i had a bunch of holidays before that day !got down as i reside at 1st floor went down and found out my hostemates engaged in some seroius discussions .. just out of usual curiosity went out there to see wats the haaloluu was all abt and bang there i got a headshot as my frnd holded the front page right in front of my face and and said" deekh padh kya likha hai arjun (as is he was his childmate) ne kya kiya hai sala ma*********** ne reservation kar diya bhen ke ****** sala hamari marna chahata hai " i read 50% reservations 4 scst obc and said "god damit wat the hell".
for a few moments i kept thinking how wud it effect me and my future and then came the feeling of disgust and i just poured out some words of praise for arjun singh!!we just kept praising him 4 a while and then saw my watch to find out that i was actually gona be late 4 college. leaved all that just rushed out through my usual rutine work etc and that news was lost for that whole day until yesterday.. meanwhile i read abt protest in papers chatted abt it 4 a while and then carry on my work .wat happened yesterday was that some seniors came by the hostel and told that there was a raly in protest and we al have to go out there doesn't matter if u wanted or not cuz its kinda status 4 them bringing as much crowd as they can..watever i thought abt it,never been to any protest rally never seen any in real just heard and saw police lathicharge!! etc so decided fuck,, me not gona go ,use my contacts and say no to seniors!! after that in the nite there was only one question on every1 face just waiting to be asked so i myself said me going 4 it "(a white lie)well i thought wil see in the morning and say me not well or watever..again i got up around 9.00 a bit late cuz the bus 4 the protest was going to leave at 8.30 but my bad luck as i was going to the bathroom i got a voice 4m behind ..."eh heroo sun idhar aa "wel word hero sounded good cuz i look like1!!!turned and wat i see that senior was standing as if he was just waiting 4 me to get out of my room.........asked "chal raha hai na" i with a roonewala face told "sir meri attendence short hai " thought this wud work but he came with something better than mine .. said tell me the teachers u having attendnce prob i wil help as if he was the principle of our college.. and then i had to put my face on the sword.even then i didn't left my hope of not goin,, i tried ..intensionally got dressed up like was going 4 a party trying shoes etc wud have been ready 4 college for 5 times atleast in that time.. went out saw no bus and had a feeling of relief ...but mera BAD LUCK HI KHARAB THA got a voice "kaha tha ab tak jaldi kar tere liye bus wait kar rahi hai " GOD DAMIT!!
Well we all took fo from our college masti was going on .. all hostelers together in 1 bus thats kinda rare over here felt good like we were on a way to a picnic.. some guys were joking abt reservation some were just sight seeing .. i think u understand the word "sightseeing" for a normal human being it meant as usual but 19y old guys had something else in their brains!! kinda normal for us ..we al joked and sang all the way but the moment came our bus entered the arena of the protest saw polics vechiles and guys gals shouting all over man i can say that buri" FATTII" thii sab kuch bhool gaye wah ja kar.. but can't help ur brains atlast we r guys with no gf's.. one step outside the bus and there r the birds to watch i quote one thing here medicals chicks really rock in terms of sights!! anyways back to the topic we all came out with enthu cuz just wana impress the gals went out shouting ,, i overheard some gals saying here comes the engg quoting me as i had long hairs and looked good in rugged pair of jeans and football t-shirt ..(readers no use to comment on this part)
there were many a students from medical,from engg college and one thing which our guys were intrested in was the press and the TV channel present over there
some were hiding their faces and some "netaa" ppl wanted to be in limelight. we collected al banners i personally was intrested to have stickers on myself sa i felt it wud add to my CHARM!! and a way to approach the medi gals! so i did got some stickers showed enthu and showed support to the gals!! so after a bit of shouting we atlast started the rally all joking shouting slogans abt arjun singh and wat not abt him and some respect abt his family members also..nevermind we engg we get carried away by such things .. that the only way we can put it !
Til now it was all fun and fun i was also enjoying the rally and wasn't much abt the protest of reservations!reached our spot and did"CHAKAJAM" then suddenly seeing so many ppl around that place something inside me felt like r they all like us or their do care abt the reservations ..all the protest and hungerstrike in delhi etc is to be real not like us.well it may be sounding wat kinda person i m being like i really don't care but i m writing for the feeling that i felt over there in many a ppl.some were just 4 fun and some really protested.. anyways we had bananas and drinks to drink and then apne tikhane par wapas bus came again and we started to board into it .. well the journey wud be more fruitfull if i had been able to get to know more mentalities and feeling of some persons most of them being opposite sex...
thats all wat i wana put up or i wana oput something more anyways its too much 4 the readerss
plz don't even think of giving comments and specialy not on the part envolving my charms!! bad 4 ur health
THE BRAVEHEART !
. I did wrote this1 months before but posting it later..!