My PrapoSAL....Cudn't propose though!

Well me right now feeling cold in stomach .. actually don't know wat i m feeling like i did something 4 the 1st time in my life and got fOOked up .. man wat plans i made since last nite, i thought abt it and now here i m shitting over here..... thought of talking to a gal from a long time and made plans ..thought who the hell wil refuse my proposal after listening my speech cuz i believed to make a senti wala speech but alas.... didn't get time to start the speech though!!
there is a gal in my colllege well there r many but there is 1 .. hmm not 1 ,,many ,,i wana be frnds with.. some i talk to and some i never intreacted with .This was a similar case the latter one.............since last sem i thought of doing so but i kept it delaying cuz was afarid how wud it turn out to be and today my wildest fears came true, that also a moment ago.......
The reason i tried to impliment my plan today was that there were not many guys and gals in the college and she was not with the grp she used to ..
usual morning and i thought man i gotta study so i was planning of bunking the college! see i m using the word study that means a lot for me,,man i was damm seroius abt this word today and then all seriousness vanished as soon i saw her going to the college from my room window. than i decided today is the chance for me. i thought wat to say and made a perfect speech, perfect cuz i belive i carrry feeling and sentiments with wat i say .. so its kinda prefect and believed any nice gal wud agree to my pt anyways all this was going to fel apart today...............
i prepared my speech discussed with my frnds and let me make 1 thing clear the proposal was only for frndship nothing more or less than that ... see again i using my speech lines! prepared revised several times cuz i never had done so and never approached a gal whom i have never talked .. well as a matter of fact i have never approached any gal no matter if i know her or not!!
Bunked 2 periods and then went college in the 3rd period cuz i found out she had cp class so she wud be roaming out side for a while.. went and found out class engaged by some other teacher ok next time .. came in break and found her all over the college ,no sign of hers thought she might have left and as soon i was gonna leave saw her back and then me and my frnd who is also the same level of FATOOO as i m ,both marched towards her..
There she was standing outside of college with 2 more gals waiting 4 the bus .. we both reached there and dono ki FATTTI ,,we roamed abt over there 4 few mins and then with lots and lotss of strength, approached the gal fo the very 1st time in my life ..
Do quote my words,, went to her and said" exuce me ********* can i have a word with u plzz" she replied "yeah" a sec of slience and then i said "wud u plz cum over here 4 a while" And then the poison dipped arrow stucked right to my heart........SORRY was the reply and eveything fell apart...
I turned back and started moving .... Wat more cud i do.. can't tell her wat i wanted to in front of other 2 gals .. no i cud have never done that never.now m feeling a bit bad wat wud they all think abt me i went there with a nice thing and god knows how will they put this thing in front of other ppl..
All i can say is that this wasn't good .. i really think i cud ever thinks abt doing all this all again!.. well lots of nerve wud be needed for this purpose ...one try and u just got bashed away ..All the confidence wel i didn't had any ..but as we say success comes first and then confidence ...wat i got was not defeat,,defeat is something atleast u fought or stood but mine was like i didn't had any chance ..just 1 sec and wiped OUT.!!